What actually happens
Captured by the wrong medieval army
Ash Williams is accidentally sent back to the Middle Ages, where Lord Arthur's men grab him because they think he is a spy for Duke Henry, their enemy in a war. Ash and Henry are enslaved together, Ash's shotgun and chainsaw are taken, and he is marched to Arthur's castle. Ash is dropped into a pit with a Deadite, kills it, and gets his weapons back from Arthur's Wise Man. He then demands that Henry and his men be freed, and he kills another Deadite in front of everyone, which makes the castle treat him as a hero. Ash also starts to fall for Sheila, whose brother was one of Arthur's knights and has died.
Reading this instead of watching it is the correct decision. Scaredy Cat makes that decision automatic, for free.
The windmill and a lot of tiny Ash
The Wise Man says the only way Ash can get home is the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, a magical book, so Ash goes looking for it. This is the part people dread, and it comes early in the search. In a haunted forest, an unseen force chases Ash into a windmill, and he smashes into a mirror. The shards each hold a tiny reflection of Ash, and the reflections come to life and harass him. One of them grows into a full-size copy of him. Ash dismembers the copy and buries it, and that is the end of the scene.
Three books and one forgotten word
The Necronomicon turns out to be in a place with three books, and Ash has to work out which one is real. To lift the right one safely he has to say a phrase, "Klaatu barada nikto," but he suddenly realizes he has forgotten the last word. He mumbles and coughs through the end of it and grabs the book anyway, then hurries back toward the castle. His bluff has not worked. Without his knowing it, the copy of him he buried rises from the dead, and it unites the other Deadites into the Army of Darkness.
Textbooks from a 1973 Oldsmobile
Back at the castle, Ash demands to be sent home right away. Then a flying Deadite carries off Sheila, and the evil copy of Ash, called "Evil Ash," turns her into a Deadite. Ash decides the outnumbered humans should fight the Army, and the people agree without enthusiasm. He brings Duke Henry onto his side and relies on the textbooks he has in his 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88, and together they take the soldiers into battle.
The ending, explained
Ash and the soldiers beat the Deadites. Ash blows up Evil Ash, saves Sheila, and gets Arthur and Henry to make peace. The Wise Man tells him how to get home using a passage from the Necronomicon, and hands him a potion after saying the same phrase as before. Back in the present, Ash is telling a colleague at the S-Mart department store what happened. One Deadite is still around, since Ash forgot the final word of the phrase a second time, and it attacks the customers while Ash is talking to a female co-worker who likes his story. Ash shoots it with a Winchester rifle, says "Hail to the king, baby," and kisses the co-worker.
The post-credits ruling
Nobody has confirmed whether Army of Darkness has a scene after the credits, so stay seated if you want to check.
✓ Spoiled safelyDog status: fine, no dog dies.
Questions people ask at 1am
Is Army of Darkness scary?
Barely. Army of Darkness is a 3 out of 10 with low dread, because it plays as a medieval adventure with an undead army, a few creepy sequences and a moderate amount of gore.
How does Army of Darkness end?
Ash and the soldiers defeat the Deadites, he blows up Evil Ash and he rescues Sheila. A potion sends him home, where one last Deadite attacks his store and he shoots it.
Does the dog die in Army of Darkness?
No dog dies in Army of Darkness.
Is there a post-credits scene in Army of Darkness?
Nobody has confirmed whether Army of Darkness has a scene after the credits, so stay seated if you want to check.
What is the Necronomicon in Army of Darkness?
It is the magical book Ash has to retrieve to get home from the Middle Ages. In Army of Darkness he must say a phrase to take it safely, and forgetting the last word means the buried copy of Ash rises and unites the Deadites.
