What actually happens
Drew's night alone, with a very distracted father
The movie opens on Halloween night. Drew Decker is home alone when a threatening phone call comes in, and a person in a Ghostface costume chases her out of the house. She ends up outside in her underwear, and the killer stabs her in the chest, which pops one of her silicone implants out. Her father arrives in the car with his attention somewhere else, because her mother is keeping him busy, and he runs Drew over. She gets a look at her attacker before the final stab. This is the scene to brace for, it comes first, and the movie plays it as a joke from start to finish.
Reading this instead of watching it is the correct decision. Scaredy Cat makes that decision automatic, for free.
A beauty pageant with a killer in the audience
Cindy Campbell has a boyfriend, Bobby Prinze, who keeps pushing her to sleep with him, and a circle of friends that includes Brenda, Ray, Greg, Buffy and Brenda's stoner brother Shorty. A news team led by a hack reporter named Gail Hailstorm descends on the school over Drew's murder. In class, Cindy sees the killer outside the window and then gets a note. She works out that Drew died exactly one year after the friends accidentally killed a man. Cindy wants to tell the police, but Greg is more afraid of prison and hits her. At Buffy's beauty pageant, the killer murders Greg in front of the whole audience, who mistake the cries for help for part of the show. Buffy wins the pageant and forgets Greg.
The movie theater has strong opinions about talkers
The killer attacks Cindy while she is home alone and retreats when she calls the police. Bobby shows up and is arrested after the police spot a phone, a knife and gloves tumbling from his jacket. Cindy spends the night at Buffy and her brother Doofy's place, and the killer phones her there. Bobby is released the next day, and Buffy is beheaded with a cleaver. Gail and her cameraman Kenny spend that night driving to a makeout spot hoping to film a murder, and they film one, a teenager named Heather. The killer chases them into the woods and gets Kenny. Later Ray is stabbed through his ear in a movie theater bathroom stall, and Brenda, who has been talking through the film, is stabbed by the other patrons to make her stop.
The killer joins the party and gets stoned
Cindy throws a house party for safety in numbers. Tina goes into the garage for beer and does not come back. Cindy finally goes upstairs with Bobby. Meanwhile the killer ends up in the basement getting stoned with Shorty and his friends, and accidentally kills everyone there except Shorty. The killer stabs Bobby and disappears. Cindy grabs a gun, Bobby follows her, and when Shorty comes up warning about the killer, Bobby shoots him. Then Ray walks in, still alive, and reveals he is Bobby's partner. They tell Cindy they are only copying the real killer. Bobby admits he resented Cindy for refusing him, and Ray stabs Bobby repeatedly because his favorite sitcom was canceled without a finale. The real killer arrives and stabs Ray, and Cindy kicks him out of a window.
The ending, explained
The killer is gone before the police arrive. At the police station, Cindy and the sheriff figure out that the killer is Doofy, Buffy's brother. He faked his intellectual disability, dropped his disguise and left with Gail Hailstorm. Cindy finds his discarded backpack on the street with the Ghostface mask and knife inside, starts screaming, and is run over by a car while the sheriff walks away. Nearly every other character is dead by then: Drew, Greg, Buffy, Kenny, Heather, Ray, Brenda, Tina, Shorty and Bobby.
The post-credits ruling
Nobody has confirmed either way whether there's a scene after the credits.
✓ Spoiled safelyDog status: fine, no dog dies.
Questions people ask at 1am
Is Scary Movie scary?
Barely. Scary Movie is a 2 out of 10 with low dread, almost no jump scares and several stabbings that are played as jokes.
How does Scary Movie end?
Cindy's boyfriend Bobby and his friend Ray turn out to be copycats, and they die. The real killer is Doofy, who was pretending to be disabled, and he escapes with Gail. Cindy finds his mask and is run over by a car.
Does the dog die in Scary Movie?
No dog dies in Scary Movie. No pets die in it at all.
Is there a post-credits scene in Scary Movie?
Nobody has confirmed either way whether Scary Movie has a scene after the credits.
Who is the killer in Scary Movie?
Doofy, who works as a special officer and is Buffy's brother. In Scary Movie he fakes an intellectual disability, kills several of Cindy's friends and escapes with the reporter Gail Hailstorm.
