What actually happens
A killer with a Valentine's Day calendar
For the past few years, a serial killer called the Heart Eyes Killer, or HEK, has picked a different American city every Valentine's Day and gone after couples. This year it is Seattle, where two couples are murdered and a wedding ring with J.S. engraved inside is left behind at the scene of one of the crimes. Ally McCabe markets jewelry and has just broken up with her boyfriend Collin. Her pitch for an ad campaign about doomed couples gets her ridiculed, since it now looks tasteless next to the murders. Her boss Crystal orders her to come up with a new campaign alongside a freelancer named Jay Simmonds, whom Ally met earlier at a coffee shop. Jay suggests dinner that night, on the theory that it might inspire them.
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A forgotten key and an accidental first date
At the restaurant, Ally gets hostile when they trade opinions about love, and Jay walks out, offended. Ally follows him and kisses him when she spots Collin approaching with a new girlfriend, and HEK watches the whole thing from a distance. The two make up and share a cab home, and when Ally finds she has no key, Jay helps her break in. He cuts his hand doing it, so Ally patches him up inside, which she can do because she once dropped out of medical school. HEK attacks them there. After a chase, the killer knocks Jay out, and Ally escapes and keeps running until the police show up. Detectives Zeke Hobbs and Jeanine Shaw find Jay with the killer's mask and weapon and arrest him for the murders.
A police station with the lights off
Hobbs and Shaw question Jay at the station. His initials match the ones on the ring, and he was in the same cities during earlier attacks. Ally waits in the lobby with the desk officer, Fran, and an IT technician named David, who asks her out and gets turned down. Then the power goes out, and HEK kills Fran and goes after Ally. Shaw confronts the killer, who wounds her and kills Hobbs. Ally frees Jay, and they run to a drive-in movie theater and hide, which gives them time to actually talk. HEK follows and slaughters several moviegoers, so the pair stop hiding and fight back. They kill the killer with his own weapon and pull off his mask, but they don't recognize him. An ambulance tends to them until Shaw arrives and offers Jay a ride, and he accepts.
Candle wax and a statue of Saint Valentine
Back at home, Ally realizes she has fallen for Jay and goes to find him. HEK calls to say that Jay is being held in a chapel and will die unless she comes alone. She arrives to find that the killer is really two people, David and Jeanine Shaw, who are secretly married. The man they killed at the drive-in was Eli, their fan and lover, and all three of them did it for the thrill. The ring belonged to David, and the initials on it were Shaw's. This is the scene people dread most, and it comes near the end. They hand Ally a gun with a single bullet and tell her to shoot either herself or Jay. She shoots Shaw instead and hits Jay as well. Then the two couples fight. Jay jabs an arrow into David's eye, and melted candle wax sets David on fire. Ally jams a metal straw into Shaw's neck and pushes her against the blade held by a statue of Saint Valentine, which slowly beheads her.
The ending, explained
A badly burned David is still on his feet and goes after Ally and Jay, and Jay shoots him with his own crossbow. That ends all three killers: Eli died at the drive-in, Shaw on the statue and David in the chapel. Ally and Jay survive, though Hobbs, Fran and the moviegoers at the drive-in do not. One year later, Ally has decided to go back to medical school, and she and Jay go to a drive-in together. Jay asks her to move in with him. Ally says no and proposes to him instead.
The post-credits ruling
There is a mid-credits scene. Ally gets a sinister phone call that was really her friend Monica playing a joke, and nothing plays after it.
✓ Spoiled safelyDog status: none, there is no dog in this one.
Questions people ask at 1am
Is Heart Eyes scary?
Somewhat. Heart Eyes is a 4 out of 10: a slasher comedy with a few jump scares, a lot of graphic kills and low dread, so it rarely follows you home.
How does Heart Eyes end?
Ally and Jay beat the killers, who turn out to be David, Detective Jeanine Shaw and their fan Eli. A year later Ally is back in medical school and she proposes to Jay.
Does the dog die in Heart Eyes?
No, because there's no dog in Heart Eyes.
Is there a post-credits scene in Heart Eyes?
Yes. Heart Eyes has a mid-credits scene in which Ally gets a sinister phone call that was really her friend Monica playing a joke, and nothing plays after it.
Who is the Heart Eyes Killer in Heart Eyes?
There are three. Ally and Jay unmask one at the drive-in and don't recognize him, and he turns out to be Eli, a fan of the other two. The other two are David and Detective Jeanine Shaw, who are secretly married.
