What actually happens
A grandmother with a complete field guide to witches
Luke Eveshim is eight, American, and visiting his grandmother Helga in Norway when she gives him a thorough lecture on witches. They look like ordinary women, but they have claws under their gloves, bald heads under itchy wigs, square toeless feet in sensible shoes, a purple tinge in the eyes and a powerful sense of smell for children. Clean children are the easiest to smell, so Luke learns that being dirty counts as a defense. Helga adds the story of her friend Erica, who was cursed into a painting and slowly faded out of it. Then a car accident kills Luke's parents, Helga takes him in as his legal guardian, and the two relocate to England. There a woman offers him a snake and a chocolate bar, and Luke, who has been paying attention, stays put until she leaves.
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A witch convention booked as a child welfare charity
On Luke's ninth birthday Helga develops diabetes, and her doctor suggests a holiday at a hotel on the English seaside. Luke befriends Bruno Jenkins, who loves to eat, and annoys the hotel manager, Mr Stringer, when Luke's pet mice frighten a maid. The hotel is also hosting a convention of witches calling themselves the RSPCC, a children's charity, which takes some nerve. Their leader, the Grand High Witch, has checked in as Eva Ernst. Luke hides in the meeting room and watches her unveil a potion that will turn every child into a mouse. It is going into sweets at confectionery shops, bought with money she supplies.
Luke becomes a mouse and keeps his sense of purpose
This is the scene people dread most, and it happens in the middle of the movie. Bruno has already been given the potion, so he is lured into the witches' room, turns into a mouse and runs away. Luke is discovered soon after, chased through the hotel, and runs to Helga's room, but she is in a diabetic episode and can't help him. The witches catch him and force-feed him the potion, he turns into a mouse, and he escapes. What you see is a chase and a transformation, and then a small mouse running. Luke finds Bruno, Helga recovers, and Luke decides the best response to being a mouse is a plan.
Cress soup with an extra ingredient
Luke's plan is to sneak into the Grand High Witch's room, steal a bottle of the potion and pour it into the cress soup for the witches' banquet. The Eveshims try to return Bruno to his parents, who refuse to believe them and are frightened by how he looks. Luke gets the formula and tips it into the soup. The Grand High Witch treats her assistant, Susan Irvine, terribly, and when Irvine is barred from the banquet she quits. At dinner Bruno's father orders the soup, and Helga stops him just before he eats it, and then Bruno speaks up and his parents finally understand. The witches turn into mice, and the staff and guests of the hotel chase them down. Irvine shows up afterward, completely shocked by the sight.
The ending, explained
Helga pins the Grand High Witch beneath a water jug, and Mr Stringer finishes her off with a cleaver. Bruno is handed back to his confused parents. After the Eveshims get home, they are sent a trunk of the Grand High Witch's cash, plus an address book listing every witch in the United States, which gives them a plan for the next round. That night Irvine, now reformed, visits the house and turns Luke back into a boy. She also returns his pet mice and his glasses, then leaves to do the same for Bruno. Luke and Helga wave her off, and the English witches are gone.
The post-credits ruling
Nobody has confirmed whether there is a scene during or after the credits.
✓ Spoiled safelyDog status: fine, no dog dies.
Questions people ask at 1am
Is The Witches scary?
Somewhat. The Witches is a 3.5 out of 10 with low dread. The fear is fairy-tale fear, built on witches in disguise and a boy turned into a mouse, and it fades by the end.
How does The Witches end?
Luke puts the potion in the witches' soup, every witch at the banquet turns into a mouse, and the hotel staff and guests exterminate them. Luke is turned back into a boy by Irvine, the reformed assistant.
Does the dog die in The Witches?
No dog dies in The Witches. The movie has mice, and a lot of them are witches by the end.
Is there a post-credits scene in The Witches?
Nobody has confirmed whether The Witches has a scene during or after the credits.
Who is the Grand High Witch in The Witches?
She is the leader of the world's witches, staying at the hotel as Eva Ernst. In The Witches her plan is a potion that turns all children into mice, sold to them as sweets.
